If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
