The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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