Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
