the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
