Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
