I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
