I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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