My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Randomize
