She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
