Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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