No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
