turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
