Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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