please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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