:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
