I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
