what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
