I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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