What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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