Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
