I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
