this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
