well you can't waste a boner
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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