If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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