mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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