how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
