Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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