There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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