yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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