you guys were way drunker than both of me
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
