So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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