and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
