oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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