onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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