the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
