it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
