Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
