Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
