bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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