I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
