The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Randomize
