That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
