I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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