His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Randomize
