4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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