Your mouth is God's brothel.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Houston, we have a blender
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Randomize
