Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
