he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
