my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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