am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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